write it down

It's not feeling at all grave or heavy or consequential. Yes there very well may come a gravity and a weight and a consequence- but as of now i have a sane impish smile in mirror of yours. A filigree of something fleeting flashing sleeping, laying standing waiting in white. Wet grass waits to dry for no one. Wet air hangs to dry for no one. The wet air says- see your breath, look at your breath, feel your breath but breathe me first. Breathe me first. It is an untethering, a skinning, a dissapparation into that same air. I have no doubt that the breaths we hushed into each other's mouths will articulate in the wind forever. Forever is a long time but like water it is in infinite circulation- never to be created or destroyed– boy i am home. The blades of my shoulders are cold like my toes, my heart lays bobbing in a pot on the stove, please keep it there still beating and old. And an optical nerve so I can see how you've grown. Its complexity must be imposed– it is not implied– sentiment cannot hide. Soft skinned musky grapes drink me down as you burst. Hold me up as you burst. It murmurs it murmurs it murmurs– my headache is gone. Replaced by a fullness of a child's pre dawn. Ousted the drums– wiped onto the floor. We don't have to live like this anymore. Love me love me want me want me look at me look at me yes its me. Smoke pools and rushes ice over windowpanes– the same ones that fog and protect us from rain. Your arms fold in protector of the insides, i feel lucky to see and be seen in them.

death coming forward and stepping back
rocking into the forum and tallying the votes
on a horse- rocking

smother me in the way that i like
where i can breathe with drama
and dive back to your black hands.

its nice to feel a cool touch
and an embrace so deep it must be the end.

and because it is the end that we share,
in knowledge and sorrow aware,
that we share it together-
we have opened up our moaning and our wailing.
the walls keep them, as walls do.
thick and cold they smother too.
I breathe seven feet under in an upside down canoe.
I could float through the dirt if i wanted to.

but for a moment i look up
and love my burial.
a retreat into the solemn familiar
i breathe alone
until we breathe together.
the urgency has left to make our breathing mean anything.
we see that most of the time
a breath in is an involuntary response-
a vaccum animate.
that almost all of the time follows
a breath out-
a void pending animation.

now our atmospheres have different contents.
o2— c02— N
it is not that i cannot breathe on your planet-
its just that i must dig a terrarium of myself and my canoe
into your earth.
death helped me dig this.
and for you on my planet-
its not that you can not breathe its that you must ascend
percariously high-
where my atmosphere thins-
in order to catch a glimpse.
and death has given you a terrible fear of heights.

deaths solutions, his helps
are not tools, they are sentences.
he sentenced me to
“The Suffocation of Underneath”
and you to
“The Axphyxiation of On Top”
We were thankful just to be on the same planet- for the most part
to be touching- for the most part.

To fight the sentence of death- that we could not accept,
Is to fight eachother- until theres nothing left.
And when frigidity took
and our love shook
We took solace in the final rest.

— I want to dig a hole to another universe! Clean through!
— And i want to float far enough away, where there is no memory of you!

We have it now
the same thing our own.
My how you've grown.
Come so many worlds
Since you left home.

the face of the dog in front of me is really comforting.
the world Ice ouside is ever present but always a pane of glass ensures my safety.
the wind blurs in snow and i watch with knowing that the smoke from my chimney keeps me
safe degrees away.
and it moves out there while here i am still.
what a thought to think that i only have stillness if i carve myself away.
a hole in a hil to carve myself into or a valley or a community
thats existed for thousands of years there gathering the human resource that is also protective;
like a hole or a cave or a sheild.
herd animals the lot of us.
and when there is snow this is a reminder;
of the world we used to face together.
and in the snow that falls there is remembering of this truth.
a primordial evolutionary sway moves us all to clearing a path that everyone walks
moves us to warm eachother
and rub shoulders and crave eachothers heat in united desire.
brains dont know its not about surviving anymore.