write it down

when i last dropped this book in the metro it was 169kc
that was almost 6 months ago
i bought it again as a different person this year
for 269kc
when i dropped it it was half finished
and stuck in my mind half finished
as many half finished things do
the wry and creased czech authors portrait on the back
was the first eyes i looked into
upon finishing the book
upon finishing a half finished thing
i expected it to feel somehow-finished?
but the universe, though tender and mild with me in essence
has consistently and always reminded me:
i am not owed completion.
i am not owed closure.
i am not owed fullifillment.
i am not owed contentment.
i will be thinking about what i have finished-
sometimes reflecting on it more than what ive left undone.
this if for i, myself, who is also undone.
many times i have tried to close the circle,
finish the loops,
complete the steps,
enter the code-the combination-the key.
but it truly unfolds itself only after i
close the book,
put it on the shelf-among other prized finishings-
and recognize in myself
that there is no end to any of this.

the snow is falling so lightly and it is a gift most precious to stand by a window as the freshness layers itself over the world urban.
we have claimed- starting from the earth up, built our safe protection from the world into the world.
blocks of buildings extend their rectangles to the air taller than trees even.
windowsills crisp with fluffy ice.
we have replaced our cold lightbulbs with warm ones to simulate the sun in our minds.
we have run from the outside since it was delineated that there are even two sides.
now rest.
the doors are closed, the rooms are warm and we never have to go outside again.
some so want to, bundling up our insides to bring them out,
where the snow clings to our moving fur and piles high,
just like the windowsill.
outside the danger is in staying still,
and inside danger is for leaving.
pursue the strange and delicate being of both.
when i am in i often yearn to go out.
and when i am out i often yearn never to return home.